When Feelings Are the Answer to Our Perception of Reality

In a previous blog, you got a nudge to use your thoughts to create beautiful things you want to see in the world. While I believe in the power of thoughts and intentions, it seems worth looking at what sometimes gets in the way of that creative flow. After all, who doesn’t know those moments when everything seems stuck?

How do you interpret reality?

Take, for example, a mother who starts her holiday quite exhausted and struggles daily with herself to give her child enough attention and care. If she were to pause and consider her needs, we’d probably hear ‘help’, ‘support’, ‘rest’ or ‘contributing to my child’s well-being’. With Nonviolent Communication, we look for ways to fulfil one or more needs. Yet the chances of finding good solutions remain slim if the mother thinks she’s a bad parent, thinks she can’t handle it all, or thinks she isn’t getting the support she needs. We all construct these kinds of stories throughout our lives, and they burden us with a load of guilt and judgments about others. These are stories born from automatic responses to make a threatening reality manageable. Unfortunately, they also have an addictive quality: we’re more likely to make reality fit the story than to question the story itself. And so the mother will, in this way, do everything possible to not find the support she needs. An unconscious form of self-sabotage…

Unpleasant feelings with a silver lining

Pausing to notice your feelings and asking yourself which of your beliefs are feeding them offers a chance to revise your automatic thought patterns. Forgive yourself for being led by the old story and choose again how you want to shape your reality. In this way, you take full responsibility for your feelings and bring fluidity back to the flow of creative thoughts.

More about how your perception shapes the world Book: Choose Again, Diederik Wolsak Book: Illusions, Ingeborg Bosch